Nick and I have been talking about children… scary, huh?  We both know we want children and we don’t want to wait much longer (Lord knows I am not getting any younger).  Children change your life so much… instead of everything being about you, everything is about the child.  Nick and I are not use to that… we do what we want, when we want, however we want.  That won’t be happening once children are thrown into the mix.  We had a long talk on Monday night about the fact that there are still several things that I want to do before we have children and how much harder those things will be to do when we have children to think about.  I feel very overwhelmed with anxiety when I think about all of these things and I don’t want the thought of children to be a source of anxiety for either one of us.

I really think that Nick will be an amazing father and that together we will make a good team when it comes to parenting… it is all just very overwhelming and scary.  I guess the idea of children right now compared to all the things that I still want to do just seems like trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole.  I will keep praying because I know that the Lord will show us when is the right time (I still have a lot of weight to lose before hand as well).

thoughts… just a bunch of thoughts.